25/10/2026
“Are you OK?” “Yeah, fine.” What if “fine” isn’t the whole story?
For some autistic people, the hardest part isn’t that they don’t want to share how they feel – it’s that identifying and describing emotions can be tough. This is known as alexithymia, & it can make it harder to recognise mental health struggles and to reach out for support.
That’s where how we ask can make a difference.
R U OK? suggests explaining why you’re asking – for example, mentioning a change you’ve noticed – because it opens the door to a fuller answer than a simple yes or no. They also point out that not everyone is comfortable sitting face to face: walking, gardening, kicking a ball around, or having something to hold can make a tough chat feel easier. And ReachOut’s guidance for parents reminds us that clear communication matters, as subtle cues can be harder for some neurodivergent people to pick up.
Put together, that might look like a calm, specific check-in during a shared activity rather than a big sit-down talk – and it’s fine to keep checking in over time.
Every child is different, try these ideas to see which might fit your child
We’d love to hear from you: what helps your family have easier conversations about feelings? Share your tips in the comments 👇
Learn more: ruok.org.au/how-to-ask and parents.au.reachout.com
General information only – not a substitute for advice from a health professional.
Join our online free parent webinar : Link in bio!
If you or someone you know needs urgent support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. In an emergency, call 000. Kids Helpline (ages 5–25): 1800 55 1800