06/11/2026
Sometimes, there’s more at stake than the game. 🎲
Over the years, I’ve worked with many children who have previously spent time with others learning strategies to manage disappointment, cope with frustration and feel more comfortable with losing.
Yet despite these strategies, losing can still feel incredibly difficult.
And it’s always made me curious about why winning feels so important to this particular child?
Sometimes it’s about feeling capable, having a sense of autonomy or predictability, or navigating feelings of shame, rejection or not feeling good enough.
For neurodivergent children, there may be additional layers around cognitive shifting, uncertainty, perceived fairness, or previous experiences of having their needs misunderstood.
I also consider developmental readiness. Are adults expecting the child to navigate frustration and disappointment in ways that aren’t yet accessible to them?
And sometimes, children simply really enjoy winning!
Learning to navigate frustration and disappointment is important, AND so is understanding why those experiences might feel particularly challenging for an individual child.
When strategies aren’t working, it’s worth looking beyond the skill we’re trying to develop and become more curious about the child’s experience.
Sometimes we need to spend less time focusing on how a child responds to losing, and more time understanding why it’s so challenging for them in the first place.
