More Joy Therapy

09/05/2026

You heard that right. We are adding to the team! I am looking for a fully credentialed therapist to bring on board to More Joy. Tell your friends! 🖤

08/27/2026

08/14/2026

Something I don’t think we talk about enough when it comes to narcissistic or deeply self-centered relationships is resources.

And I don’t just mean money.

Resources can be:
– Money
– Time
– Energy
– Attention
– Food
– Help
– Comfort
– Even basic consideration

This can show up with parents toward their children, but it can also show up between partners in a relationship.

In a healthy relationship, resources are generally viewed as something we use to care for the people we love.

“My child needs this.”

“My partner could use my help.”

“This matters to them, so it matters to me.”

But in a narcissistic or extremely self-centered dynamic, the thought process can look very different.

Instead of, “Someone I love needs something,” it becomes:

“Why should I have to give up something that belongs to ME?”

So a child asking for something completely reasonable may hear:

“You already have one.”

“You don’t need that.”

“Do you know how much that costs?”

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

And sometimes the issue isn’t actually that the family can’t afford it.

The issue is that spending money, time, energy, or attention on someone else feels like a loss to the person who believes those resources should primarily benefit them.

The same thing can happen with a partner.

You may find yourself feeling guilty for needing help. Guilty for spending money on yourself. Guilty for asking them to make time for you. Guilty for being sick, tired, overwhelmed, or simply needing them to show up.

Meanwhile, they may have very little difficulty spending those same resources when they are the one benefiting from them.

And one of the strangest parts?

Sometimes you don’t realize how abnormal the dynamic was until much later.

You become an adult and realize the thing you were made to feel horribly guilty for needing actually cost $20.

Or you enter a healthier relationship and realize that asking someone you love for help isn’t supposed to result in punishment, resentment, scorekeeping, or shame.

There is a difference between having financial limitations, being tired, needing boundaries, or occasionally saying “no”…

…and consistently treating the needs of the people you supposedly love as an inconvenience or personal expense you resent having to pay.

Healthy love doesn’t mean unlimited access to someone’s money, time, or energy.

But healthy love generally carries a willingness to share what we have, within reason, to care for one another.

And children especially should never have to feel indebted for the resources it took to raise them.

07/02/2026

15 things my clients may get tired of hearing but that are worth repeating:
🗣️🗣️🗣️

1. “That’s an explanation for the behavior, not an excuse.”
2. “If something feels like it’s killing you, it probably is.” (Referring to shame, grief, trauma, anxiety—not literally).
3. “Your feelings are always valid. Your behavior isn’t always justified.”
4. “You can understand why someone hurt you without allowing them to keep hurting you.”
5. “Healing isn’t pretending it didn’t happen.”
6. “Boundaries tell people where you end and they begin.”
7. “Guilt doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong.”
8. “Two things can be true at the same time.”
9. “Just because you’ve survived it before doesn’t mean it isn’t costing you.”
10. “Your nervous system doesn’t care that you’re ‘being dramatic.’ It cares whether it feels safe.”
11. “Avoidance always charges interest.”
12. “The goal isn’t to never feel anxious. It’s to stop letting anxiety make your decisions.”
13. “You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.”
14. “Your inner child deserves compassion, but your adult self has responsibility.”
15. “Not everyone who misunderstands you deserves another explanation.”

❤️‍🩹 Which one did you need to hear today?