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Safe Spaces with Sam

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Safe Spaces with Sam

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Safe Spaces with Sam offers 1:1 therapeutic coaching and small group sessions for children, adolescents and their parents in key aspects of mental health and wellbeing.

30/10/2026

🌞🦋Natural and logical consequences for poor behaviour 🦋🌞

It's easy to dish out time-outs, take tech away for a long time, ground etc as punishments, but it's proven that natural and logical consequences are far more effective and help our children learn from mistakes, developing responsibility, accountability and problem-solving skills.

So what is the difference?

1. *Natural Consequences*: Allow children to experience the direct outcome of their actions, for example breaking a toy means they can't play with it any longer. Perhaps they threw it in a rage, well they've set their own consequence already.

2. *Logical Consequences*: Impose related, reasonable outcomes, which make sense to the child and seem fair, for example not putting away toys means helping with extra cleanup, or in a case recently at home, going upstairs with their shoes on when explicitly told not to resulted in hoovering the upstairs of the house later on!

What are the benefits of this approach?

1. Encourages self-regulation
2. Fosters accountability
3. Develops problem-solving skills
4. Builds resilience
5. Strengthens parent-child relationships
6. Allows for a much calmer way to deal with behaviour

Here are some more examples:

1. Forgetting lunch- Pack a simpler meal next time and going hungry!
2. Not wearing a coat- Feeling cold, this is a common one in our house!
3. Being late home- Missing that amount of time from the next night out.
4. Being physical to a sibling- Picking up one of the siblings chores as a kind of community service.
5. Refusing to do homework - Getting into trouble at school for not doing it.

And some general tips when dealing with poor behaviour:

1. Stay calm and consistent, leave for a few minutes if needed.
2. Explain consequences clearly, if they're logical and fair as above they're much less likely to argue.
3. Encourage reflection, not straight away, but the next day perhaps.
4. Set clear expectations to begin with, children's brains love boundaries and knowing where they stand.
6. Encourage them to set their own logical consequence as it involves them in the process.
7. If needed say you're too cross to tell them their consequence now and revisit after some time out for everyone.

It won't always work out and we all know in the heat of the moment it can be almost impossible to keep cool and not dish out ridiculous punishments, but it's ok to come back and say exactly this. It's actually really good modelling for our children to see we're not perfect, that adults make mistakes, but we own them, learn from them and apologise.

I can promise you from direct experience with my own children and of many students over the years, this approach is so much more effective.

For more information about 1:1 coaching drop me a message to [email protected] or visit http://safe-spaces.square.site

30/10/2026

🦋🌞Halloween Tips for Neurodivergent Children🌞🦋

I'm sure like us lots of you are feeling trepidation about going out trick or treating this year. So I thought I would share some tips to help make it go as smoothly as possible.

1️⃣ *Prepare them in advance*: Explain what to expect, show pictures or videos, and role-play trick-or-treating, particularly if they're young. We get very caught up as parents trying to ensure they say thank you, so show them how.

2️⃣ *Choose familiar routes*: Stick to familiar neighborhoods or houses to reduce anxiety. Everything looks different at night and the houses don't look the same when decorated so if you can point out landmarks to ground them, or show them where you are on Google maps it may help.

3️⃣ *Create a safety plan*: Designate a meeting spot and make sure your child knows their emergency contact info. Particularly if the children are older and you're thinking of letting them go off. If they have a phone get the life360 app, so you can track each other.

4️⃣ *Accommodate sensory needs*: Bring ear protection, fidget toys, or take breaks when needed. Think about getting them a blue treat bucket as this is the recognised colour to inform people of a neurodivergence.

5️⃣ *Make it fun!*: Focus on your child's interests and preferences, and find ways to make the experience enjoyable for them. Be prepared you may need to change the plan and not be out for as long as you thought if they get overwhelmed.

6️⃣*Be prepared for a terrible bedtime!": They will likely be overstimulated and on a sugar low if they've eaten some of their sweets, so try to keep bedtime low demand, if they have to have their routine don't skip bits to save time as ultimately it won't, but if you can sacrifice the bath for one night to get it all done more quickly then go for it, one night won't matter. I find when we foresee the issue we are more likely to be mentally prepared and handle it much more calmly.

Have a great evening everyone.

29/10/2026

🌞🦋 Halloween inspired worry monsters🦋🌞

We've been making these Halloween inspired worry monsters this month. Lots of my superstar clients love craft activities and it's a great way to aid those chats about difficult subjects.

This Frankenstein ate up feeling worried about crowded spaces and we discussed ways to feel less anxious about this particular situation.

For more information about 1:1 coaching drop me an email to [email protected] or visit http://safe-spaces.square.site

28/10/2026

🦋🌞What is body doubling and how can it help?🌞🦋

We love a bit of body doubling in our house, especially when it comes to homework tasks. It can be a time of stress, constant reminders to stay on task and a struggle to even start.

Body doubling can be a total game-changer! By working alongside your child, mimicking their tasks and activities, you can:

Reduce anxiety and stress related to homework
Improve focus and concentration
Enhance executive function skills
Boost self-esteem and confidence
Foster a sense of safety and security

Try these body doubling homework hacks:

Sit with your child during homework, doing a similar task (e.g., reading, puzzles)
Work on a parallel project, like a coloring page or a simple craft. Provide gentle guidance and support, without taking over the task. Perhaps they already ask you to sit with them and you weren't aware of why and how powerful that could be!

Of course this isn't always possible in our busy lives, but give it a go if you can as it really helps lots of children - and adults as it goes!

These kinds of tips are just one example from the toolbox of strategies that we build together during coaching. For more information about 1:1 coaching drop me an email to [email protected] or visit http://safe-spaces.square.site

27/10/2026

🦋🌞Is my child neurodivergent?🌞🦋

This is a question that comes up a lot in coaching. Parents want to know whether what they're seeing can be explained by a neurodiversity.

I can't diagnose ASD, ADHD, dyslexia or any other neurological condition, BUT I can see traits if they're there and have access to materials that can give a pretty good indication.

I am well trained in recognising the signs and can give my professional opinion as to whether I feel further referral is needed. I can write a letter of recommendation to your GP to accompany an appointment you then make.

Following our investigative sessions and goal setting with the child, I can also write a letter to your child's educational setting making recommendations for strategies and resources that would be helpful. If needed I can be your advocate in meetings with those educational settings too. I know how difficult it can be when your child is masking at school, so they find it difficult to understand the needs that you are seeing at home.

For more information about coaching drop me an email to [email protected] or visit my website http://safe-spaces.square.site

26/10/2026

🦋🌞New crafty freebie for the holidays 🌞🦋

If you have air dry clay at home and fancy making some very cute worry stones, I have created a brand new metaphorical story to go alongside where purple butterfly helps manage big feelings.

It's available from my product shop to download now for FREE!

https://shop.beacons.ai/safespaceswithsam/4041ce7b-7ae1-40e8-8a4a-3841a9b43c01

I'd love to see your creations.

For more information about 1:1 coaching for you or your child drop me a message to [email protected] or visit http://safe-spaces.square.site

26/10/2026

🦋🌞 Half-Term, Half-Speed? 🌞🦋

Of course, the moment the half-term holiday arrives and the pace slows down... my immune system decides it's time to crash, and I've succumbed to the classic bug going round!
Isn't it typical? Our bodies often hold onto stress and keep going at full throttle during the busy term, only letting go the second we finally get a chance to breathe. Obviously also thanks to the many adults and children who have been sick around me, so I'm not surprised!

If you’ve also found yourself sniffling on the sofa this half-term instead of ticking things off your to-do list, I see you.

As much as I teach the children and parents I work with about emotional regulation, resilience, and listening to their bodies, it's a great reminder that adults need to practice it too.

Taking time to rest isn't 'wasting' the break—it’s an essential part of recharging.

* It’s okay to pause when your body tells you to slow down.
* It’s okay to lower your expectations for the week.
* Rest is productive, even if it just looks like tea, tissues, and a blanket.

Here’s to a very slow, gentle start to half-term!

For more information about 1:1 coaching for you or your child drop me a message to [email protected] or visit http://safe-spaces.square.site

25/10/2026

🦋🌞Self care is a bubble bath with candles right?🌞🦋

Well it could be part of some people's self care yes, but it is so much more than that.

It's making sure you have something booked into your calendar that brings you joy. Be it coffee with a friend, date night, a family trip, a holiday, just something that you're looking forward to and is for YOU. If you don't have anything, get it sorted- it doesn't have to be anything expensive or lavish. I go for a long walk with a friend after the school run every week and we stop for a coffee part way round, as an example.

It's setting time aside to read a book, doing a hobby you enjoy, learning a new skill, treating yourself to a manicure, watching a trashy film.

But I haven't got time for any of that I hear some of you say! Well you need to make the time, because you're no good to anyone if you're grumpy, or much worse, unwell because you haven't taken the time for yourself.

It is NOT selfish to take that time for yourself and it's important you role model doing just that, for your children. They need to see it's a normal and healthy part of life, to take time for yourself. They'll be much more likely to do it themselves if it's what they see you do.

You must try hard to do one thing every day which is for your self care. Make that commitment right now and plan in how you're going to do it, you'll be a much better parent for it 😊

Self care is just one aspect of our mental wellbeing and an area we often focus on in coaching. If you would like to find out more, drop me an email to [email protected] for an information pack, or visit my website http://safe-spaces.square.site

25/10/2026

🦋🌞A great week Spaces HQ🌞🦋

24/10/2026

🦋🌞Celebrating Superpowers🌞🦋

When you think of children (or adults) with autism I'm sure you picture naughty boys, big headphones, no eye contact and awkward conversation BUT I'm sure you're also aware of the gross misrepresentation this is.

It is absolutely vital that we recognise and celebrate the huge amount of positive traits that people with ASD, ADHD and any condition on the spectrum have and trust me there are a lot!

Recently diagnosed or those awaiting assessment all too readily focus on, or are told the less desirable traits they may be displaying. Couple that with the stereotypes and lack of understanding and it's no wonder those children often suffer with low self esteem and a common reaction from parents is one of fear of the ‘label’.

Being more empathetic, highly skilled in an area, having an attention to detail, superior creativity, focus, and memory; increased efficiency and personal qualities such as honesty and dedication to name but a few!

In coaching I often spend a whole session on celebrating the superpowers that child has, as a result of the amazing way their brain works and they leave feeling very powerful and lucky to have been gifted such an awesome brain 🧠

By simply reframing the way we think and talk to children, we can have a hugely positive impact 🥰

Pop over to my website and drop me an email to receive a coaching information pack
http://safe-spaces.square.site
[email protected]

Address

Crawley

Opening Hours

Monday	10am - 2pm
Wednesday	10am - 2pm

Website

http://safe-spaces.square.site/

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