Knowing yourself

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Knowing yourself Counselling, life coaching & healing
Find your true self, self-esteem & worth, inner peace & love It is the most important journey we make in our lives.

Knowing yourself is the path to discovering real self esteem; finding peace within yourself and around you; building deep and authentic relationships; enhancing your heath and wellbeing; and finding the purpose that will lead you to happiness and fulfilment.

𝗜'𝗩𝗘 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗨𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗬 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧'𝗦 𝗪𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘. 𝗜'𝗩𝗘 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧'𝗦 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗡...
28/10/2026

𝗜'𝗩𝗘 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗨𝗟𝗔𝗥𝗟𝗬 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧'𝗦 𝗪𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘. 𝗜'𝗩𝗘 𝗔𝗟𝗪𝗔𝗬𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗡 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦 𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧'𝗦 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠.

Over the years, I've met people whose difficulties had almost become their identity. Diagnoses, symptoms, behaviours, labels. But where was the person behind them?

Years ago, I worked with a woman who had experienced serious mental health difficulties and repeated hospital admissions.

I didn't ignore her illness, but I wanted to meet 𝘩𝘦𝘳. What made her happy? What did she miss? What did she want from life?

We explored music, hobbies, friendships and eventually dating. Over five years, I watched her reconnect with life. During that time, she had no further hospital admissions.

I can't claim that was because of me. But I saw the difference it made to our relationship when she was met as a person, not just through her illness.

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻.

That curiosity is central to my psychotherapy. So is another part of me that I'm ready to speak about more openly.

𝗠𝘆 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆.

Not the pursuit of endless awakenings or becoming someone extraordinary.

For me, spirituality is simple. It's recognising that we belong to something greater, that we're connected, and that how we live matters.

It isn't an escape from reality. It's part of what helps me face it.

Look at the uncertainty around us. People work hard yet struggle to build a future. Businesses close. Young people find their hopes difficult to turn into reality. Is it surprising that some feel lost or unmotivated?

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀?

I believe spiritual awareness can become an inner holder. Not by making difficulties disappear, but by helping us meet them without losing ourselves.

Instead of asking only, "𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦?" we can also ask, "𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄?"

That doesn't mean blaming ourselves for what happens. It means recognising the choices and responsibilities we still have, even in difficult circumstances.

We can respond rather than only react. We can contribute rather than only demand.

𝗣𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀. 𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿.

I bring psychological knowledge, experience, curiosity and spiritual awareness to my work. I don't impose my beliefs. But I welcome that exploration when someone is interested or curious.

Because understanding ourselves is only part of the journey.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲.

𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳
Maria Veiga | Psychotherapy, Counselling & Mentoring
London & Online | knowingyourself.co.uk

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲?That's where my work begi...
26/10/2026

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲?

That's where my work begins.

With curiosity, questions, challenges, compassion and an understanding that we're more than the difficulties we experience.

Sometimes what we call a problem was once a brilliant way of surviving.

And sometimes, understanding ourselves means looking beyond our history, our patterns and our beliefs to discover what else is possible.

𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲.

Perhaps it's time to become curious about yourself, too.

𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗲, 𝗹𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.

𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 — 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗮 𝗩𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗮
Psychotherapy | Counselling | Mentoring
📍 London & Online
🌐 knowingyourself.co.uk

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗠𝗘 𝗗𝗜𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗔𝗦 𝗔 𝗣𝗦𝗬𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗧?𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲.I'm an i...
24/10/2026

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗠𝗘 𝗗𝗜𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗔𝗦 𝗔 𝗣𝗦𝗬𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗧?

𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲.

I'm an integrative psychotherapist, counsellor and mentor. But those titles don't really explain what happens when someone sits down with me.

I don't just sit quietly, nod and ask, "And how does that make you feel?"

I listen, of course. But I also question, challenge, explore, connect the dots, use metaphors, offer different perspectives and, yes, sometimes we laugh!

I'm interested in what you say, what you don't say, what you believe about yourself and, perhaps most importantly, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.

I don't see people as diagnoses, symptoms or collections of problems waiting to be fixed.

A diagnosis can be important. Medical treatment can be essential. But neither tells me everything about the human being sitting opposite me.

I want to know what happened in your life, what you learnt from it, how you adapted, what you carry, what brings you joy and what might be keeping you from living more fully.

Because sometimes what we call a problem was once a brilliant solution.

The behaviour that now limits you may have protected you for years.

And sometimes, when we become so focused on managing symptoms, we forget to explore the circumstances that contribute to someone's suffering.

𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵. 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

My approach is integrative because human beings are not one-dimensional.

We are psychological, emotional, physical, relational and, for many of us, spiritual beings.

Spirituality has always been an important part of my own understanding of life. Not as something we need to become or achieve, but as an awareness of our connection to something greater than ourselves.

I believe psychotherapy can help us recognise and release what prevents us from being ourselves, while spirituality can help us trust that being ourselves is already part of something greater.

You don't need to share my spiritual beliefs to work with me. Your beliefs, your experiences and your understanding of life are what matter in our therapeutic relationship.

𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘂𝗹𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

I won't tell you who you should become.

I won't promise to fix you.

But I will bring my experience, curiosity, honesty, intuition and willingness to explore with you.

Sometimes I'll ask questions you weren't expecting.

Sometimes I'll challenge something you've believed for decades.

Sometimes we'll discover that what seemed to be the problem wasn't quite the problem at all.

And sometimes the most meaningful discovery is that there's far more to you than the story you've been telling yourself.

𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲.

That's why my practice is called 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.

And perhaps that's where our conversation could begin.

𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗮 𝗩𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗮
Psychotherapy | Counselling | Mentoring

📍 London & Online
🌐 knowingyourself.co.uk

𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗜𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗔𝗧 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗕𝗘𝗖𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗘𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟𝗦 𝗙𝗔𝗥 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗗𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗦.Giving can be an expression of generosity...
19/10/2026

𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗜𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗔𝗧 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗕𝗘𝗖𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗘𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟𝗦 𝗙𝗔𝗥 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗗𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗦.

Giving can be an expression of generosity, kindness and care.

But sometimes, it's also a way of staying safe.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝗜'𝗺 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹. 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲.

For some, receiving means risking disappointment, feeling indebted or believing they haven't earned what's being offered.

So they become the capable one. The independent one. The person everyone can rely on.

But who do they allow themselves to rely on?

𝗥𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.

And perhaps the question isn't whether you're generous enough, but whether you can accept care, kindness and support without feeling you must give something back.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲?

Come, let's explore it together.

🌿 www.knowingyourself.co.uk

𝗪𝗘 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗡 𝗧𝗢 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 𝗪𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗡'𝗧 𝗧𝗔𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠.And we do exactly the same with our pets.We call ourselves lovi...
15/10/2026

𝗪𝗘 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗡 𝗧𝗢 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 𝗪𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗡'𝗧 𝗧𝗔𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠.

And we do exactly the same with our pets.

We call ourselves loving parents, dog mums and cat dads. We give them affection, attention, toys and treats.

But how often do we stop to understand what they actually need?

We tell children to behave without explaining what that means. We shout at dogs for doing something wrong without considering whether we've taught them what to do instead.

And when they don't meet our expectations, we call them naughty, stubborn, difficult or disobedient.

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗯𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴.

A child who behaves because they're frightened of punishment hasn't necessarily learnt right from wrong. They've learnt how to avoid getting into trouble.

A dog who wees when frightened hasn't forgotten its training. Its nervous system may simply be overwhelmed.

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗲'𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱.

That's the uncomfortable part, isn't it?

We want good behaviour, but are we providing the guidance, consistency and emotional safety needed to develop it?

We expect them to understand us, but how much effort do we make to understand them?

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗺.

Children need boundaries. Animals need training. Both need patience, consistency and a sense of safety.

And neither should have to live in fear of getting something wrong.

So perhaps, before asking “𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿?”, we should ask:

“𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗺 𝗜 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵, 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱?”

Because sometimes, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻.

www.knowingyourself.co.uk

We often think 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀.Perhaps it isn't.A securely held child explores, experiments, wande...
07/10/2026

We often think 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀.

Perhaps it isn't.

A securely held child explores, experiments, wanders further and eventually says:

“𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.”

Safety gives them something solid enough to move away from.

But when life feels unpredictable, we may seek the opposite:

More certainty.
More rules.
Someone who knows the answer.

Sometimes even 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘀𝗮𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗼𝘀.

And perhaps this doesn't end in childhood.

𝗙𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘀.

It requires enough inner security to walk into the open space without immediately needing somebody to build the walls again.

Perhaps the opposite of freedom isn't always control.

𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿.

Maria Veiga
Integrative Psychotherapist • Counsellor • Mentor
Peckham & online

𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.𝗰𝗼.𝘂𝗸

We are increasingly telling AI things we have never told another human being.Perhaps not because we trust AI more.Perhap...
04/10/2026

We are increasingly telling AI things we have never told another human being.

Perhaps not because we trust AI more.

Perhaps because 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁.

No disappointment.
No shock.
No relationship to protect.

And adults do this too.

We edit ourselves with partners, family and friends because sometimes 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲.

One of the unusual things therapy offers is a relationship where you don't have to protect the person listening from what you need to say.

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲.

Perhaps that's why one of the sentences therapists hear is:

“𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦.”

What have you never said because you were afraid of somebody else's reaction?

Maria Veiga
Integrative Psychotherapist • Counsellor • Mentor
Peckham & online

𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.𝗰𝗼.𝘂𝗸

𝗗𝗼 𝗜 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱? 😂A ridiculously ordinary question — but perhaps not such a small one.Sometimes we know pe...
30/09/2026

𝗗𝗼 𝗜 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱? 😂

A ridiculously ordinary question — but perhaps not such a small one.

Sometimes we know perfectly well what we prefer. We just haven't learnt that 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻.

Something doesn't have to be terrible before we can say:

𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴.

𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦.

And if knowing what you 𝘥𝘰 want feels difficult, start with what you don't want.

Sometimes “𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀” is how we begin discovering “𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀.”

𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲.

And knowing yourself can begin with something as ordinary as a loaf of bread.

Maria Veiga
Integrative Psychotherapist • Counsellor • Mentor
Peckham & online

𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.𝗰𝗼.𝘂𝗸

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆.𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂.Those two things can be true at...
26/09/2026

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆.

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

Those two things can be true at the same time.

Not every childhood wound came from a parent who didn't care.

Sometimes it came from being pushed because they believed in you.

Being rescued because they couldn't bear to see you struggle.

Being told not to cry because they wanted you to feel better.

Being praised for being “𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦.”

Being given every opportunity — but perhaps not enough space to discover who you were without somebody organising, guiding or encouraging you.

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱.

Understanding this isn't about putting our parents on trial.

They may have done the best they knew how to do.

And there may still be things 𝘄𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗼.

Perhaps one of the most interesting questions we can ask ourselves is:

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱?

And do I still need to live that way?

Maria Veiga
Integrative Psychotherapist • Counsellor • Mentor • Mediator
Peckham & online
𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳.𝗰𝗼.𝘂𝗸

𝗪𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿.More people. More places. More things. More opportunities.But all that choice doesn't alwa...
24/09/2026

𝗪𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿.

More people. More places. More things. More opportunities.

But all that choice doesn't always make us freer.

Sometimes it makes us afraid to choose.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳?

So we keep looking — even after we have chosen.

But some things need time to become the better thing.

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻.

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 — 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲.

Maria Veiga
Integrative Psychotherapist • Counsellor • Mentor • Mediator

Individual Therapy & Counselling • Soul-to-Soul Sessions • Couples Mediation
Peckham & online

knowingyourself.co.uk


𝗪𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿.

More people. More places. More things. More opportunities.

But all that choice doesn't always make us freer.

Sometimes it makes us afraid to choose.

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳?

So we keep looking — even after we have chosen.

But some things need time to become the better thing.

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻.

𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 — 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲.

Maria Veiga
Integrative Psychotherapist • Counsellor • Mentor • Mediator

Individual Therapy & Counselling • Soul-to-Soul Sessions • Couples Mediation
Peckham & online

knowingyourself.co.uk

Address

London
SE15

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