05/27/2026
Why does the term “self sabotage” need a reframe? Because it is
pathologizing and fails to address what is actually happening. We all have
protective parts that step in when there is danger to protect us. When we have experienced complex trauma, even good experiences often feel threatening.
Why? Because we may not be used to good things. We may not believe we deserve them. In the past, good things may have been taken away. Good things activate these protective parts in the same way bad things can. Building tolerance to good things allows us to increase our capacity to hold them, accept them, and allow them. This is unconscious until it is brought to our
awareness and not a personal failing or weakness. It is survival.
EMDR allows us to titrate between emotional states to build this tolerance. It also allows us to change our beliefs about what we deserve and reduce fears around good things being taken away.
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