Raw Grit Speaking

08/23/2026

Almost ten years of infertility, 4 losses, I truly believed I would never be a mom. But my rainbow finally arrived and is now 4, almost 5!

08/23/2026

It’s National Rainbow Baby Day 🌈🌈

🖤I truly thought having a baby wouldn’t happen for me… my whole life I wanted to be a mom. In 2012, I had an “oopsie” pregnancy, but I was SO happy.

My joy was unfortunately cut short at 6 weeks and I spent the next 9 years longing. It was hard, seeing baby showers and pregnancy announcements in the thick of loss, as someone without a living child that was incredibly difficult and a feeling I’ll never forget.

💔I had another loss in 2014. Then a ruptured ectopic pregnancy which resulted in emergency surgery and the loss of the baby as well as my left fallopian tube in 2015.

🤷🏻‍♀️I decided to do fertility treatment, because I felt like I would always regret it if I didn’t try. My first try resulted in another loss in 2020. I truly truly didn’t think being a mom was in the cards for me.

But I tried once more…. and things weren’t looking good, my pregnancy hormone levels weren’t rising as they should. I thought loss # 5 was in the books, but- on mother’s day in 2021, I had a very early ultrasound that showed an intrauterine pregnancy.

🖤My son is truly a miracle in every way, and I’m incredibly blessed, and still marvel at him every single day.

❤️If you’re still praying for/ trying for your rainbow baby, don’t ever give up. There is hope. My son was also conceived despite me having endometriosis and adenomyosis. The endo was known, but I didn’t even know about the adeno until 2024.

All this to say, Happy National Rainbow Baby day to my beautiful sweet baby Caleb, and all of the other rainbow babies (Sammy, Landon, Logan, Victoria, Ethan to name a few close to my heart- and so many more!!) 🌈❤️

08/21/2026

🙌🏻8 weeks out from surgery, things have been going pretty well for the most part- except that my belly button incision has had repeated issues.

😫It had a bright red circle around it when I took the bandages off, this was said to be a suspected allergy to the adhesive. Then it had drainage that wouldn’t go away, and was treated with silver nitrate in early July. It got better, but towards the end of July it bled a little bit a couple times and had more drainage, so I had a second silver nitrate treatment, and it got better again.

💁🏻‍♀️THEN, in the last couple weeks, same issues AGAIN. There’s also a lump under the skin on the right side of my belly button, which they thought was scar tissue- but it’s starting to hurt more, and feels warm to the touch, so my theory is that it’s something else.

👩‍⚕️I see my surgeon tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll get answers. One possibility is it’s a retained stitch- if that’s the case, they will just need to locate it and remove it, it could also just be irritated granulation tissue. But all I know is that it’s not normal, so I’m really hoping to find out what’s going on!

💁🏻‍♀️I’ll provide an update tomorrow, meanwhile here is my uncle getting a big hug from my son and his duck ❤️🖤

08/14/2026

Facts 😝

08/12/2026

It be like that sometimes!

Parenting, working, peer speaking and mentoring, recovery from surgery and juggling various appointments and responsibilities, trying to keep my home somewhat organized and not an ADHD chaos zone, while dealing with chronic pain and practicing self care for my mental health- and so much more, life is a LOT pretty much all the time! 🤪

08/12/2026

08/03/2026

🖤Making friends as an adult is HARD! My support system and social circle is very geographically spread out, but I’m SO grateful for them.

👭I’ve tried making local mom friends, despite my social anxiety/ awkwardness I have put myself out there on about 4 different occasions by writing down my phone number and suggesting we do a play date for the kids- talking to another mom and finding out we had a ton in common at the pediatrician’s office and another at the grocery store, reaching out to an old friend from my youth- and more.

🤷🏻‍♀️Nothing came of any of it but that won’t stop me from putting myself out there.

🖤 The ones who are meant to be your friends will come and stay. Even if it takes a long time and a lot of tries to meet them!!

(Video starring my son and my uncle.)

08/01/2026

Already time for back to school 😩 feels like summer just started! My son goes back in 2.5 weeks. I hit up Temu for our back to school clothes shopping- since the price is right, and my preschooler is growing like a w**d and grows out of everything quickly. Look through our Temu haul with me!