13/07/2026
Every water bottle in this photo has my son‘s name on it because at some point or another, he’s misplaced his.
Not because he is lazy, not because he is spoiled and doesn’t appreciate what he’s got, not because he’s entitled and knows they will be replaced, it’s ADHD.
One of the biggest misconceptions about ADHD is that children lose things because they’re careless. In reality, what we’re often seeing is a difference in executive functioning.
Executive functions are the brain skills responsible for planning, organisation, working memory, attention and self monitoring. They’re the skills that help us remember where we put our keys, notice we’ve left our phone behind, or remember to pick up our water bottle before leaving the classroom.
Research suggests that children with ADHD often show a developmental delay in executive functioning. This means that although they may be bright, thoughtful and capable in many areas, the organisational skills we expect from them may not yet be developmentally available to the same degree as their peers.
Many parents describe this as “out of sight, out of mind”.
The bottle is put down while they’re thinking about a friend, a football game, the teacher’s instructions, a noise in the corridor, a question they’ve just thought of, or the next thing they need to do. The moment the bottle leaves their visual field, it can leave their working memory too.
This is why comments such as “be more responsible”, “pay attention” or “try harder” rarely solve the problem.
The issue isn’t motivation.
It’s executive function.
children with ADHD receive up to 20,000 more corrections than their neurotypical peers.
That means every time they are berated for daydreaming, fidgeting, not paying attention or losing things they start to internalise this message as “I’m not good enough.” “there is something wrong with me.”
As a Mum to a child with ADHD, I have told him I will never be angry with him for losing things. It’s not a choice and shame won’t help him remember his belongings.
What helps is “scaffolding.” .
